Thursday, April 28, 2011

Bananas do not have bones

For whatever reason it seems like no one but me has heard this stupid song. When I was little, my sister and I had this stupid cassette with various kids songs on it, and one was this song. It's a stupid song like, Mairzy Dotes, just nonsense, you know. Either way, this is the ensuing conversation and a picture of a skanky banana, enjoy.

Anna-Nelsey: I like bananas, because they have no bones.
Jack T. Skank: They have bones. They're just very thin and banana-like.
Anna-Nelsey: Lies!


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Boots. The cowboy kind.

Sometimes I start conversations by saying random words. Sometimes those words involve boots.

Anna-Nelsey: Cowboooooooooy booooooooots!
Jack T. Skank: What did I tell you about cowboy boots, Ann?
Anna-Nelsey: I dunno, that they're awesome?
Jack T. Skank: They're not to be trusted.

Fuck that Skank, my boots is fly...


Monday, April 18, 2011

A Skank is always supportive

So I'm a journalist and being a journalist sometimes you win awards. I won an award.
The Associated Press(or the AP) gives out awards for different things in journalism and I happened to receive an award. I don't honestly remember now which award I won since my station was honored with several AP awards, but I received one group award and one singular award.

Jack T. Skank: Ann, what's an AP award? And congratulations!
Anna-Nelsey: It's an award from the Associated Press, and thanks!
Jack T. Skank: Cooool, did you get a trophy?
Anna-Nelsey: No, I think I get a plaque though.
Jack T. Skank: Yay, do you get to keep the plaque?
Anna-Nelsey: Well no, I think the station keeps it...
Jack T. Skank: Still, yay!

Your enthusiasm for my accolades never ceases to amaze me :].


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Hidden dances

Jack T. Skank and I live in different states. I guess I should have said that before, but he lives in the Midwest while I currently live on the East Coast. Sometimes I call him when I'm going places. Today I called him when I was going to an art museum, and then I talked to him online when I got home and was... well, bored.

Anna-Nelsey: Jack! I'm bored! Entertain me!
Jack T. Skank: Did you like it?
Anna-Nelsey: Did I like what? The museum...?
Jack T. Skank: The dance I did for you. You didn't even see it, did you Ann?
Anna-Nelsey: Wha-no!
Jack T. Skank: Wow, I can't say I'm surprised. Ask me for entertainment and just totally ignore my good will!
Anna-Nelsey: You're rude, Skank. Just rude.
Jack T. Skank: Actually, I'm tired. Time to get high.
Anna-Nelsey: Damn you!

Stupid computer...


Friday, April 15, 2011

Beards are gross

Jack T. Skank: Ann I have a beard now! It's great!
Anna-Nelsey: Eww... do you keep stuff in it?
Jack T. Skank: Stuff is in it, I don't really keep it there. It just kind of comes and goes as it pleases.
Anna-Nelsey: Even more eww..
Jack T. Skank: Ann, I can't keep it all to myself, that would be selfish. It's my civic duty to share it with the world.
Anna-Nelsey: Is it a beyond-face beard? Like-does it go out into the world being a beard and whatnot?
Jack T. Skank: It has its own social security number and birth certificate, so yeah.
Anna-Nelsey: Groooooooss
Jack T. Skank: Jealous?
Anna-Nelsey: Oh yeah, totally. You know how I've longed for a beard of my own.
Jack T. Skank: I know you have. It's alright, I'll let you look at it. You can't get too close to it though... it's easts small people.
Anna-Nelsey:... you're a jerk.
Jack T. Skank: Wa-why?
Anna-Nelsey: I'm not small... I'm just big boned..
Jack T. Skank: That's.... ok.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Squirrels! Squirrels for everyone!

Sometimes I'll be sitting on my computer, Facebook surfing and generally zoning out and then I get these awkward messages that I don't know how respond to like, "Do you like my new hair cut?", "Have you seen my shoes?" or "Why did you keep pinching me the last time you saw me?" I don't like your hair cut, I have seen your shoes but am not willing to tell you where they are(don't lose your size 5.5's at my house) and I kept pinching you because you're very tall and I think it's funny to see all those tiny bruises. It makes you look like you've been beat up by gnomes. 

Then other times I get this.

Jack T. Skank: On a scale from 1 to 15 how cool am I?
Anna-Nelsey: Uhh, squirrel.
Jack T. Skank: Not bad.

Sometimes life is kinda weird.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

All I want in life right now is some cheesy ramen

Jack T. Skank: I'm making ramen.
Anna-Nelsey: I'M making ramen.
Jack T. Skank: For real?... You distracted me and I burned my ramen!!
Anna-Nelsey: Haha! You fool! Feel bad.
Jack T. Skank: I've already started a new one.
Anna-Nelsey: Wha? Damn it...
Jack T. Skank: When life gives you burnt ramen, start some more cause it's only 20 cents.
Anna Nelsey:What kind of ramen? I wish I had ramen.
Jack T. Skank: Wait-you weren't really cooking ramen?
Anna-Nelsey: No. I was lying.
Jack T. Skank: Damn it Ann!
Anna-Nelsey: I'm great!

I am! It's true! But I still wish I had ramen...


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Jack T. Skank: The eternal cookie tease

Anna-Nelsey: Jack, I want cookies.
Jack T. Skank: Me too, actually. You should work on that for both of us.
Anna-Nelsey: No. Make me cookies.
Jack T. Skank: Ok, but I'm not bringing them to you.
Anna-Nelsey: Whaa?!
Jack T. Skank: They should be done in 20 minutes.
Anna-Nelsey: ugh...
Jack T. Skank: Better hurry!
Anna-Nelsey: You're so fat...

Dear cookies,
Wish you were here... for realsies...


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Free... babies?

Jack T. Skank: Free babies?
Anna-Nelsey: :o! Freee babies?
Jack T. Skank: FREE BABIES?!
Anna-Nelsey: FREE BABIES!!